Emerging from Overwhelmed!
Stitching Time
Last night I sat and stitched! I love hand stitching!
Stitching is reflection time. Mind journaling time. Sorting out time. Recognition time.
This summer I crossed another milestone, the unanticipated loss of a cherished sibling. I live at a distance, plans unfolded quickly and I missed the celebration of his life. Then the revelation that yet another sibling suffers from heart ailments. It’s time to take stock and to examine priorities. The clock is ticking, my health has hiccups but nothing serious. What do I want to focus on in the days, weeks, months and years to come?
As the eldest in a family, for many years I bore the expectations that often accompany this position. Family expectations of ‘achievement’, recognition, carry on the tradition. Our home was often the centre for family celebrations. I found myself in the role of family curator and archivist.
A few years ago I recognized the load I was carrying and started to unload. I became less ready to meet expectations and as a result others gradually assumed roles that I had carried.
I recognized my need to create and the toll that the busyness of my life had taken on my creative soul. I rediscovered and carved out time to create. I was on the path to recovery.
This summer I closed another door. Six weeks of sorting, packing, shipping the last of items held dear when we dramatically changed our lifestyle and began our years of travel. Although five years of massive garage sales had winnowed possessions to just a few, my mantra “Is it part of my life today? Do I see it as part of my life tomorrow? Is it easily replaced?” kicked in. Bittersweet farewell was said to some items. Questions of “Why did I keep that?” arose.
In the end came recognition that we needed to leave much of the past behind.
What did I keep? What thoughts emerged from this process?
Two priorities.
One to continue to create. And to exhibit as much as possible. Now recognized as a central part of me, it will continue to be a focus of my life.
And this one has rumbled under the surface for some time but is now recognized. Priority two is to revisit family memorabilia and to document our life story in a manner that can be passed on to future generations.
Can the two priorities merge? I expect this will happen without trying. Let’s see what the future brings!
On top of this I can’t believe that it is autumn and that the glorious gold of the west, moved from branches to ground yesterday. Where has the summer gone?
Oh Diane, so much of what you say resonates with me. I am on my own journey of self-discovery, re-organizing, purging, and taking stock of what I really want to be part of my life, of my precious time. What do I truly love/need, what can I let go? It is a painful joyful journey. And it continues.